nut hugger
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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