My boss' voice literally gives me gas
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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