He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
