hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Be still, my beating vagina.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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