did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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