Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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