just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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