You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We left the knife in your bed.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
