holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The Olympian is in my bed
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
