Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
