GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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