I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
