Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
