I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize