well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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