would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
