Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
