Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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