I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize