Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
