they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
