So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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