do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
