me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
