And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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