If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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