Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
