they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
