Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
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...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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