remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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