Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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