I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
