I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
