just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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