am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
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Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
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If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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