I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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