OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
