In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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