Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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