Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize