My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
