Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
