toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
