i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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