My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
im holly from the hills drunk
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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