I am in a vortex of obligation.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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