The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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