Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize