yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
