Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
