At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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