I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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