I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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