dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
bring money and cleavage
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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