We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
