I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
