already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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