just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
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Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
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He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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